Reflections

What You Should Know Before Having Your Second Child

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Have you ever wondered how could you possibly love another baby as much as you love your first child?

After college I babysat two adorable, creative, precocious little girls who were about two years apart. I remember their mom mentioning that before having her second she worried if she could ever love another baby as much as she loved her first. Spoiler alert: she readily fell in love with her second baby, too, of course.

That was my first time hearing anyone speak about this phenomenon that first time mamas face before they meet their second child.

So many of us moms worry during our second pregnancies about how our hearts could possibly have enough room to love another child as much as we love our first baby. I think this feeling is only natural because the love we experience as first-time mamas is so crazy big and earth-shattering. It makes sense that we would wonder how our hearts could possibly expand enough to be filled with such a huge, life-altering kind of love again (and again and again if you keep havin’ babies)

Here’s the good news, sweet mamas: your heart will instantly grow when you meet your second baby. It’s not scientific or rational, but I think our hearts “double” in size with each of our babies.

I have such a deep, heart-to-heart bond with my first son, Everson, so I found myself wondering how things would go when I had our second son, Adler. But, it really was love at first sight when I met my precious Adler Patrick…every glorious inch of his big 10 pound self. He had a full head of black hair and I couldn’t stop kissing his big, sweet cheeks.

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In fact, two years ago tonight I went into active labor with Adler and I excitedly anticipated his birth (in between contractions). I suppose that’s why I’m thinking about the experience of going from one baby to two…

My relationship with Adler is different than my relationship with Everson. I think Adler’s love language is quality time, whereas Everson’s love language is physical touch. So Adler’s love tank gets filled up when we spend time one on one together and Everson’s love tank refuels when we have a cuddle sesh together. It’s fun to learn how to love them both well in different ways that speak to their unique hearts…and I’m still learning new things about them each and every day!

If you have had more than one baby, how did the transition go for you? I know bonding is different for everyone and if PPD is a factor then that can majorly impact things. I’d love to hear how going from one to two babies went for you. And if you’re considering a second baby, does this worry ever cross your mind?

 

3 thoughts on “What You Should Know Before Having Your Second Child

  1. I’m pregnant with my 2nd baby, 1 week pregnancy :D and I’m so concerned about this… I love my daughter so much, she is 2y6m old, and we are so so sooo close! I feel like I’m gonna “loose” her! Right now, I see every new discovery she makes, every new word she learns, and from now on… I don’t know, I’m really really worried.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Mariana,

      Thank you so much for writing and sharing how you are feeling. Like I wrote, I really believe your concerns are completely natural/normal. But, I promise you that you will just look back a year from now and see how you all fit so perfectly together as a family of four. You will not only fall in love with your second baby, but it will melt your heart to see how your two children love one another.

      Thinking of you tonight!!

      Xox,

      Peg

      Liked by 1 person

    2. I echo everything Peg said! I remember feeling the way you did when our second came along 2 ½ years after our first. The dynamic did change a little bit, but I remember falling even more in love with our oldest as we were able to watch him take on a new role as sibling. Of course there are moments when our kids don’t get along, but watching them interact with one another just brings so much joy to my days as a parent that being more intentional about one-on-one time with them seems like a small price to pay for me. I’m pregnant with my fourth, but my first will always hold a special place in my heart for that very reason, just as the others hold a special place for other reasons. Prayers that the transition to a family of four will be a smooth one and that you’ll have peace as you think about it during the rest of your pregnancy!

      Like

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